Currently a Sheila
by Little-Dollhouse
Summary: Sniper was just here for a flu vaccination, he got too scared and knocked a potion off the table. The gases turned he and Medic into women. While Medic tries to make a cure they both have to survive an all men battlefield. Fem!Medic and Fem!Sniper no romances
1. Prologue

Currently a Sheila Prologue

**Hey Guys, Second Fanfic! Enjoy! If you have any tips or reviews than feel free to tell me, I would love your advice!**

"Oi Doc, is this going to be painful or something? 'Cause if it is then I will-"

"Run forty miles away and shoot me in zhe head, we all know!" The BLU Medic calmly remarked. The BLU Sniper grumbled; he was so typical, well when it came to threatening. They would always say "Run forty miles and shoot me in the head!" or "Pee in a jar and throw it at my face!"

Anyway, he was here for his flu vaccination and Medic has a rather…"unique" way of simply jabbing a needle. In the BLU team's eyes it seemed like it. The Sniper dodged, jumped and ducked from the jabs of the needle. "Verdammnit you're like a baby! Just stay still you dummkoph!" Medic snapped.

Sniper shook his head and they chased each other around the medical bay until Sniper ran out of energy and was cornered. He struggled to look for a distraction or something to hit him with. He found a small jar with yellow liquid inside he smiled, "A urine sample, just what I need!"

Medic widened his eyes when he realised what it was, he dropped the needle and waved his hands nervously, "That's not a urine sample! Put it down slowly, it's a-"

Before he could finish, Sniper dropped the jar. Piss coloured liquid became gas, Medic growled angrily, "You dummkoph, what have you done! I-I feel queasy, I hate you so mu-"

The two fainted from the smell of the gas.


	2. Chapter 1

Currently a Sheila chapter 1

A few minutes later, Sniper woke up with a splitting headache. He looked at his hands to see if anything had changed, they were a bit slender than usual and they were small and smooth. He just shrugged it off, "What the hell was in that jar?" He mumbled as he crossed his arms only to feel something soft and squishy which was not his hard chest. Sniper looked down only to see that his chest has grown. He widened his eyes, "Oh shit, this can't be happening!"

He ran to the mirror only to see his dark brown hair became long and wavy, his stubble was gone, and his frame was more slender and dainty. He grabbed his chest and screamed. His, I mean her scream was higher. She then looked at the Medic who now looked like a woman as well. She had long black hair and had the same physique as her. She ran towards the conscious Medic and furiously grabbed her by the collar.

"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO ME!?"

Medic scowled, she pried her hands off of her. "MY FAULT?! YOU WERE THE ONE WHO THREW IT IN THE FIRST PLACE, IF YOU HADN'T BEEN SUCH A PUSSY AND ALLOWED ME TO GIVE YOU YOUR VACCINATION! YOU WOULDN'T HAVE TO GET THESE!" Medic groped Sniper's chest, Sniper shook them off, "GET YOUR HANDS OFF OF ME?! DO YOU WANT TO SETTLE THIS LIKE A MAN?!"

Medic nodded, she got her Ubersaw as Sniper grabbed her Bushwacka. They were about to strike when the Soldier came in, "HEY DOC, WHAT'S TAKING SO LONG!"

He stopped and raised his helmet to look at his female teammates. The two women dropped their weapons, "We can explain, oh look a distraction!" Medic said. Soldier looked at the thing the mysterious female was pointing at as the two females made a break for it.


	3. Chapter 2

Currently a Sheila Chapter 2

After Soldier looked at the 'distraction' he looked back, "THERE'S NO DISTRACTION YOU MAGGO- I got tricked again?!"

He sighed in frustration and slammed the door open to see the waiting line. "FORM A LINE LADIES, I HAVE A URGENT MEETING!"

The team formed a line according to their type of class, offence, defence and support. Spy raised an eyebrow when he realised that the Medic and Sniper were nowhere, he raised his hand,

"Permission to speak?" Spy asked,

"PERMISSION GRANTED FRENCHIE, WHAT IS IT?!"

"It seems that the rest of the support team isn't here, oui?"

The Soldier pointed his finger up at the ceiling, "THAT IS WHY WE HAVE GATHERED HERE!? HAS ANYONE SEEN TWO FEMALES WHO LOOK LIKE OUR COLLEAGUES BOLT OUT OF THE DOOR!? RAISE YOUR HAND IF YOU DID!"

Everyone raised their hands up, Scout nudged the Pyro and whispered, "And pretty hot ones right?"

Pyro rolled his eyes and shook his head. The soldier glared at the two and they thought that it was wise to keep their mouths shut.

"NOW, THEY MIGHT BE THE MEDIC AND SNIPER SO PRETEND YOU DON'T KNOW THAT WE KNOW ABOUT WHAT THEY KNOW AND SO ON! TO CONFIRM THIS HEAVY AND ENGIE WILL INVESTIGATE!"

The Engineer and Heavy looked at each other, "Hold on a minute pal, don't we have a say in thi-"

"YOU WILL GO THERE, OR NO SANDWICHES FOR THE BIG GUY AND NO GUITAR PRIVLEDGES FOR YOU!"

The Engineer sighed, "Come on big guy…"

The two females ran to the Medic's study and locked the door. They huffed and sighed, "That vas too close!" Medic sighed in relief. Sniper looked down at his chest and still seemed annoyed about the fact that he has tits now. "What was in that thing anyway?"

Medic sighed, "Zhat was a poison zhat was supposed to temporally give zhe victim a headache and zhen faint. I have no idea on how it turned us into females. It was still in progress so I don't know how long it will last."

Sniper slammed her fist on the desk, "What, that means we'll be sheilas forever?!"

"Nein, nein, it's not permanent! But I do need a several months to find or make a cure."

Sniper groaned, "So how will we tell them?"

Medic gulped and she said she doesn't know. Someone was knocking at the door. Sniper gulped and hid in the wardrobe as Medic lied down on the couch, putting a blanket over herself to make it seem like she's sleeping. Using a deep voice she said, "Who's this?"

"It's Heavy and Engineer!" Another deep voice replied. "I'm sleeping!"

But was too late, Engineer opened the door and went in. Heavy squeezed in behind him. "Go away, I'm taking a nap!"

"But I thought Doktor was doing vaccinations?" Heavy replied,

"Next time, I'm too sleepy."

The two shrugged and were about to leave but Sniper fell out of the wardrobe.

"_Godammnit Sniper!" _

The two widened their eyes, "Doktor has a woman in closet?"


	4. Chapter 3

Currently a Sheila chapter 3

Engineer raised an eyebrow, "Is she one of the townspeople? She looks like Sniper with rather large breasts, is she your girlfriend Doc? Did you sleep with her?"

Medic revealed herself from the blanket, "No you dummkoph, she IS Sniper with large breasts and I'm the Medic!"

The two females explained their situation, the two male nodded. "So Doktor and Sniper are women now?"

The two nodded. "Does anyone else know?" Sniper asked, Heavy replied, "Yes everyo-"his foot was crushed by the Engineer who gave him a _Don't tell them that we already know! _Look.

"What the big guy means to say is that we are the only one who knows so far." The Engineer did an innocent chuckle and Heavy gulped, Medic was the first to notice,

"Herr Heavy what's wrong?" Medic said in her new soft caring voice which made the Heavy blush. He gulped again before collapsing on his knees and cried,

"I'M SORRY, SOLDIER CAUGHT YOU AND WE HAD A MEETING AND HE TOLD US ABOUT YOU BEING A GIRL AND HE TOLD US NOT TO TELL YOU THAT WE ALREADY KNOW AND HE SENT US TO INVESTIGATE OR LEETLE HARD HAT WON'T GET TO PLAY HIS GUITAR AND I WON'T HAVE SANDVICHES EVER AGAIN! I'M SO SO SORRY!"

The two women widened their eyes and Engineer sighed and facepalmed. "Wow, for a big tough guy he sure can't keep a secret…tch those bloody wankers know that I have tits and I'm pretty sure Spook and Scout are gonna hit on me…"

Medic and crouched and put her hand on Heavy's shoulder, "Thank you Herr Heavy and thank you my hard hatted friend."

The Engineer blushed, "Aw shucks, just doin' my job, solving practical problems, hehe… come on big guy let's play guitar and feast on sandwiches before Solly takes them away from us."

He dragged Heavy out the door leaving the two females alone, there was an awkward silence until the Sniper was the first to speak, "So what now?"

"We act natural while I find a cure. Also if you have sex with one of them, it will be very awkward when we become males again so I advise you not to have sex with any of them."

And then the Medic left, she wobbled on the way because she was getting used to her shoes.


	5. Chapter 4

Currently a Sheila Chapter 4

Sniper was right, the Spy and Scout were sitting next to her in the mess hall during dinnertime. Spy leaned closer, "You know my dear mademoiselle, your hair is like a flowing waterfall and your eyes are like gems."

Sniper shook her head and rolled her eyes, "Like that is going to work Spook!"

"Yeah, the chick's right, that ain't gonna work. So what about you, me in the dinner table, eating pasta…now that is great!" Scout said before winking.

Sniper groaned in frustration and looked for another table until she found one with Medic and Heavy, acting very normal and very boring.

"G'day!"

"Hello leetle Sniper!" Heavy said with a sandvich in his mouth, Medic cringed, "For the last time Heavy, don't speak with your mouth full, it's disgusting!"

Heavy shrugged and continued guzzling his sandvich. "So, now that you're a sheila, are you and Heavy going to be more than friends?"

Medic stepped on her foot using her sharp heel, Sniper bit her finger to hold in the screams, "Fuck this… I'll just go sitting with Demo, at least he's too drunk to flirt like Scout and Spook or crush my feet like you!"

Sniper got her tray and limped to Demo's table, "Good! I don't give a crap!" Medic shouted

Sniper just put up the middle finger, "Fine with me, I hope you have condoms because I am not going to babysit your babies! You bloody piker!"

She sat down with the passed out Demo and cleared the bottles; Heavy raised an eyebrow, "Why are you still fighting?"

Medic sighed, "She's still pissed off about the fact that she has to wait several months for her balls to come back."

Medic sighed in frustration as she rested her head on a heap of research papers, documents. She looked at the empty jar which used to contain the unholy creation which made her into a woman.

She sighed, "Sniper will be really annoyed!"

"Hello Doc, are you in there?" A muffled voice from the other side of the door,

"Come in Herr Engineer…"

Engineer came in and instantly saw the scattered papers and documents, "Looks like you need some doggone help with your cure…"

Medic nodded, "I can't get started if I don't know what caused the liquid to turn us into females, I need to find some of my research about this and I'll hopefully start from there…I really need to put my files in alphabetical order."

Engineer sat on a chair on the opposite of the desk, "Maybe in wasn't in your research, maybe when you were creating it maybe something happened to it that caused this to happen. Can you remember a time when a female came while you were making it?"

Medic leaned on her chair and sighed, "Actually I can recall something, and actually a female came twice…"

_Flashback:_

_Miss Pauling:_

"_Good evening Doctor how are you today?" Miss Pauling asked the busy doctor, "Guten Tag Miss Pauling, I'm a bit busy right now so can you please leave, this potion is in its early stages so if something happens to it, as Herr Demoman would say this "Kablooey!" so please leave."_

"_I understand, enjoy your eveni- AACH-CHOO!" Miss Pauling sneezed; Medic quickly took the potion away from her, "That could contaminate it!"_

_Miss Pauling sniffled, "So sorry Doctor, I'll be leaving now."_

_And she left…_

_Scout's Ma:_

_Spy came in the door with a woman clad in blue with Scout trailing behind, "Oh hello there Doctor, have you meet Tracy? She's my fiancée and the mother of this bra- I mean little boy…"_

_Scout protested, "Hey I'm not little, I'm a full grown man!"_

_Spy rolled his eyes, "So back where I was saying before I was RUDELY interrupted, I decided to show her around the base. If that is okay with you…"_

_Medic shrugged, "Do what you will Spy… and (chuckles) Little Boy."_

"_Hey!"_

_Tracy shook Medic's hand, "It's very nice to meet you, what are you making?"_

_Medic blushed, "Oh I'm just making a poison that makes the victim faint."_

_Tracy chuckled, "I would love to try it on my son, and he started running before he learnt how to walk!" _

"_Ma!"_

_Spy told her that he need to show her more places, he caressed her cheek and ran his hand through her hair. Scout mentally barfed, as they left Medic sighed and saw a strand of hair in the poison, he frantically got it out with some tweezers and sighed in relief._

_End of Flashback_

"Wow, so Miss Pauling's sneeze and Tracy's strand of hair caused all of this wow…" Engineer chuckled, "The cure is easy then, just make the same thing but with something from a male!"

Medic smiled, "Danke Herr Engineer, I must get started straight away!"

"No yet!"

"Why not?"

"It's because I just want to see Sniper suffer!"

Medic smirked, "So do I…"

After a few minutes Sniper barged into the room, "I AM BEGGING YOU HURRY UP WITH THE CURE OR AT LEAST DO SOMETHING ABOUT THAT DOUCHEBAG OF A SCOUT!"

Medic looked up, "What did he do this time?"

Sniper took a deep breath, "I WAS JUST READING THE DAILY PAPER WHEN DEMOMAN CALLED ME, AS I WENT THROUGH THE HALLWAY I PASSED BY SCOUT. HE LOOKED AT ME AND THEN SLAPPED MY ASS!"

Engineer raised an eyebrow, "And why does this situation have to involve us?"

"BECAUSE YOU'RE THE FUCKING ENGINEER WHICH MEANS YOU SOLVE PRACTICAL PROBLEMS AND THIS IS A PRACTICAL PROBLEM!"

Engineer leaned back on his chair and chuckled; "Now how do I stop some big mean mother hubbard from slapping your hoo-hah from time to time?"

Medic stood up, "I will go talk some sense to that boy…"

"What?" The two said,

Medic chuckled and got a few needles and her Ubersaw; leaving the two with confused faces.

Medic found Scout relaxing outside in the sun with Demoman, Scout looked up at her, "Hey Doc, just in time I have a question, does Snipes dig me or somethi-"

He cut off by a needle passing by the left side of the head, another got his baseball cap, pinning it to the wall, and he gulped.

Medic placed the tip of her saw on top of Scout's throat, "Now listen here boy, if you dare flirt with the Sniper, for her sake I will not hesitate to cut your head and limbs of and feed it to my doves, understood?"

Scout nodded and Medic released him, she walked away leaving an amused Demoman and an annoyed Scout.

She walked back to the study only to meet Sniper and Engineer twiddling their thumbs. Sniper looked up and smiled and Medic sighed, "I did you a huge favour so now you only have Spy flirting with you. I only did for it will be very awkward when you become a male."

Sniper squeezed, "Thank you mate, I have no idea on how you did it but thanks!"

"I don't mean to cut you off but how exactly did you do it?" Engineer asked, Medic chuckled,

"I threatened to feed his head and limbs to my doves!"

"Good one!"


End file.
